What It's Really Like To Date a Stand-Up Comedian w/ Paul Farahvar
You're guided into a crowded room with a single mic on a stand in the middle of a stage in the front. You sit down next to others and wait for the first comedian to take the stage and make you laugh. If you're single, you may start to wonder if that attractive individual on stage would make a good mate. I mean, they would at the minimum make you laugh. Who doesn't want to laugh in a relationship? As you start to fantasize about your constant laughing life with this unknown stranger on stage, you should know there's more to dating a comedian than just jokes.
Photo by Joshua Hoehne on Unsplash
This week I talk with Chicago comedian Paul Farahvar who practiced law and currently hosts two podcasts, "Singles Only!" and "Make Us A Mix Tape!." You can find them both on your chosen podcast listening platform. He uses his real-life experiences to joke about life as a lawyer and dating. He shared with me common misconceptions of dating a comedian, his thoughts on marriage, and a couple dating tips.
Common Misconceptions About Dating A Comedian
1. Comedians Are Only Dating For Material
Paul told me many women he dates are concerned that the only reason he's on the dating apps is to find material for his stand-up sets. He assures you most comedians are not going to use your dates in their jokes. Why? Usually because the dates are just not that entertaining. He said most people are not interesting enough to talk about in front of a crowd let alone make them laugh. So, relax!
2. Comedians Are Always On.
Joke. Joke. Joke. Many people believe when they date a comedian they're going to be laughing at them every minute of the day. Most comedians, however, are not always wanting to make you laugh. Performing is their job and it can be exhausting to work 24-7. Plus, there's only so much material, there will come a time when you start re-hearing the same joke and it won't be as funny the 50th time you hear it.
3. You Can Go Out On Normal Weeknight/Weekend Dates.
Wrong. One of the biggest beefs non-comedians have when dating comedians is their schedule. Most of them are performing on the weeknights and weekends. The typical dinner and drink times for most people are when these individuals are on stage and entertaining those crowds. Paul typically meets his dates with the older crowd at 5:00 pm dinner, in between two performances, or really late at night after he's done for the night. If you don't mind being second to the scheduling of their job, then you'll be fine! Otherwise, you may want to shy away from dating a comedian.
4. You Don't Have To Like Their Jokes.
Okay, so you may not like all their jokes. No one is perfect and even comedians have bad days. However, Paul will not continue dating you if you're not able to tell when he's joking with you or not. If you get mad instead of laughing at his dry sense of humor, you'll be shown the door. Comedians enjoy making others laugh and feed off that energy not only at shows but also from their friends and people they date. If they can't make you laugh and only make you mad, the relationship is not going to work out. Especially when Paul will tell you he's going to be one of the funniest people you meet. How could you not laugh at him?
5. You're Going To See Tons Of Stand-Up For Free
For Paul, performing is his job and he doesn't like to bring people he dates to shows. He's usually very busy preparing to go on stage, watching how other comedians are performing, networking, and selling his gear. He doesn't have time to meet with people he's dating for very long and has had issues with some women who have attended in the past and drank too much.
One woman he dated took advantage of the bar and was soon accusing him of hitting on other comedians, on the bartender, and at the end of the show with those looking to connect with him and buy his merch. He gave the woman another chance and blamed her actions on the al-al-al-al-alcohol. But if you are going to date a comedian, make sure you can handle seeing them at their job before you attend one of their performances.
Marriage Is Like A Salad...
Along with common misconceptions, he also described to me his thoughts on marriage. He personally does not want kids and at this time does not want to get married, but may want to in the future. Marriage to him is like going to a restaurant and deciding between the juicy mouthwatering burger and the plain but healthy salad. You want the burger, but what you should do is eat the salad. Marriage for him is like eating a salad. He's met several women in his life who he saw as salads, but he chose to eat that burger and continue living the single life.
Paul's Dating Tips:
1. Don't Drink Too Much
YES! I know it can be easy to help calm those nerves. You don't have to cut it out completely, but pace yourself.
2. Don't Date A Comedian
Really he just wants people to know what they're getting into before they date a comedian. They can be a lot to handle, if they have an amazing show or if they bomb, they can be unbearable. But if you think about it, we all really have our pros and cons when it comes to dating, it just depends on whether you can both make it work.
If you want to learn more about Paul Farahvar you can visit his website at www.paulfcomedy.com. He has links to all his social media platforms and you can see some of his performances on YouTube. You can also watch our interview on my new YouTube Page by clicking here or listening to it on your podcast platform.
Come back in 2 weeks and find out what it's like to date an entrepreneur! I interviewed Tom Burden, the creator of Grypmat, and he opens up about his dating life.
Thanks for reading/listening/watching! Don't forget to buy my book! It's available on Amazon and Barnes&Noble and titled "How Are You Still Single?"