Ever go to a networking event, a family gathering, or meet a new coworker and inevitably all the other person wants to know is whether or not you’re single? For me, it tends to be one of the first questions asked. Depending on the age and relationship status of the questioner. These questions usually come from those who are older than me and in a committed relationship. The way the questions are asked depends on how much tact the person who is asking has developed. It also depends on how old the person is that’s asking me the question. Older men and women tend to get straight to the point without much tact at all. Younger men and women tend to ask several questions to get to the answer. The passive aggressive midwest way of asking. I just turned 31. So people tend to talk about their kids with me and then ask me if I have any of my own. “What about you? Do you have any kids?”
I usually try to divert the conversation to my two nephews at this point. It helps to distract the questioner from asking further details of my love life, but it’s usually only a short diversion. The next question is whether or not I have a husband. “Husband?”
Now, they’re looking at my left hand, searching for that bright diamond engagement ring to calm their concern. Even when they see my bare finger they’re still skeptical, so they ask anyway. “Fiancé?”
My nope is quick, because I’m used to getting asked these questions and I’m used to answering them. Now, the person has one final question. They’re actually hoping my answer is yes. As if another “nope” answer is the worst thing they’ve heard all day. As if me being single is the same as me telling them that I have an incurable disease. There is usually a pause at this point in the questioning. A deep breath. I’m just standing there a little amused by it all. Knowing what’s about to be asked. “What about a boyfriend?” I answer it just as fast as the other questions they asked. I also answer it with the same level of carefree attitude. Which seems to irk the questioner most of the time. They want me to care more about it. They’re concerned for my well-being. The next part of the conversation can go many ways. Usually the questioner feels sorry for me or wants to help me find someone. Because, clearly, I’m not happy being single in this world now that I’m done with college. Or, maybe, just maybe, all these people questioning me and everyone else about our relationship status could learn a little bit from how we live our lives. The thing is single people are not alone in this world. Lots of people are single. People are single at all ages and for all different kinds of reasons. That’s why I’m writing this blog.
To talk about those untold love stories that end in heartbreak instead of marriage.
To talk about those terrible dates.
To talk about the joys and struggles of living a single life.
To talk about the myths and truths of being single.
To talk about how we don’t always want to be single, but we also don’t want to settle.
To talk about what it’s really like to be single in the modern world.
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